There's an odd pattern to getting older: Some things feel like self-indulgent nostalgia while others remain engraved as promises you were meant to keep. In the days following 9/11, it was common to exclaim "Never Forget" and yet, as other crises came along, American society moved on, forgetting the lessons of those days.
What made America great in the days following 9/11, what made the world great in those days, was not a militaristic intervention, or a forceful speech, or any particular symbol or political ideology. What made things great, in those days, was that collective grief was couple with collective support. While few were directly impacted by the events on those days, the country, as a whole, rallied around to support each other. To support those who needed help because they'd lost families and friends. To support those whose mental health was affected by this event. To support the cities that were most impacted. To support the idea of America, an idea that had just come under attack.
With that support came something different too: In a country that was divided over politics and policy, there was an agreement (at least temporarily) to put aside partisanship and work together as Americans. Parties set aside their differences and looked for a way forward together.
I do not need to go into what came next, as some decided to exploit that newfound unity for purposes that now, with the hindsight of decades of unsuccessful wars, looked like ridiculous pursuits with no direct link to what had happened.
However, when the financial crisis of 2008 happened, a similar shock to the system in America, we saw the civility and sense of togetherness rise up again. In the middle of a presidential election, members of each parties took positions to work together and do their best to stave off the worst and, sometimes fighting against their own political interest, protect the country.
Since then, the pandemic and the events of January 6th have presented a different vision of America. One where crisis is often confused for an opportunity to gain a partisan advantage and where division is thought preferable to unity. We could have beaten Covid if we had worked together and followed the science but disagreement on what facts are made it a disease that will remain with us for the rest of our lives. We could have addressed one of the darkest chapter in American history when the US capitol came under attack but the partisan refusal to even consider it a threat to the image of America left us in limbo.
But if there is a thing that the last 23 years have taught me, it is that America is resilient and that while progress is slow, progress happens in this country (as sometimes does regress). It happens when we, together, look towards the future and dare to hope for something brighter. The past has this odd way as serving lessons as to what to do but is rarely informative as to what will work next. The stumbles of our predecessors are informative in helping us understand how we can do better but not in what we should return to.
And, for the 6th time since 9/11, the United States gets to make a decision as to what it is and who it wants to lead it. The choice is between a party that is looking backward, hoping to repeat things from the past (using "Again" in their campaign slogans) and a party that has clearly staked a position of moving in a different direction ("We're not going back" being a popular rally cry).
Progress is defined as moving forward and one party wants to move towards a brighter future while the other wants to move back to a different America. Looking back, as a somewhat privileged party (I'm a white cis male), I know that a move in either direction would not have a direct impact on me (though many of the regressive policies advocated by those looking to move back would directly affect me as a naturalized citizen and immigrant) but I also know that they would indirectly affect me, eating at my soul in seeing that other, less privileged people, would get hurt.
The morning after 9/11, while there was unity, there was also hatred. Hatred towards Muslims in particular, who were blamed for the attacks on 9/11. We've made some progress since and are more supportive of different religions and creeds as a society but still have ways to go. The roots of that hatred are still around and we can learn from that and work towards making it better.
The morning after 9/11, LGBTQ+ people did not have the right to marry, and many laws were restricting their right to exist in our society. We have made progress on that front since but there is still much to be done.
The morning after 9/11, women in every state had the right to make decisions about their body without government involvement. It wasn't perfect and it was a right consistently under assault but it was better than it is today. We have regressed on that front and need to not just get back but do better, as we now know how that right can be taken away.
The morning after 9/11, mass shootings were not a public health crisis yet. Responsible gun laws, negotiated grudgingly by all sides to get to some compromise, allowed kids to go to school mostly free of the threat of gun violence. We've regressed on that front and can learn from where we were then and do better.
The morning after 9/11, black families feared the policies, knowing that the odds of receiving justice from a wrongful shooting by a police officer were low. We've made some, but not enough, progress on that front, and can do better.
There was much that was wrong in America on that morning. There still is.
And there was much that was right in America on that morning. There still is.
At its most fundamental level, the one thing that was most right was that when we work together, we move forward.
So 23 years in, this country is still feeling its way towards an uncertain future. Whether it moves forward or recedes is up to every American.
On November 5th, that future will be defined. And who know what 9/11/2025 looks like but one thing that is sure, it will be different but hopefully will be built on the learnings of how we can do better when we look at a past that instructs us on where we stumbled and where we succeeded.
In Memoriam
Carlos Dominguez, Mark Ellis, Melissa Vincent, Michael DiPasquale, Cynthia Giugliano, Jeremy Glick, David Halderman, Steve Weinberg, Gerard Jean Baptiste, Tom McCann, David Vera.
This post is part of a continuing series in which I remember those I knew who were lost on that day. Here are the previous years:
For context, you might want to read The day after, which is about as raw as one can get about that day as I wrote that piece less than 36 hours after the first plane hit. This is the longest series I’ve ever written and I expect to continue yearly until I can no longer write.